I want you to think back to a time where you got into a nasty argument with someone. You know, one of those arguments that completely ended a relationship and you never spoke to the person again. Even going back to thinking about it right now you can feel your neck starting to burn because you’re getting a bit hot under the collar.
Got it?
Good.
12 Comments
September 10, 2009 at 11:40 am
It just so happens that I can remember a time when I opened my mouth and totally inserted my foot in the midst of, oh… what was it… 40 some odd people or so?
Words are dangerous in the mouth of those who don’t first think before they speak. Thank God the majority of the group I so foolishly belittled had the heart enough to forgive my lapse in judgement. Excellent post Tula!
September 10, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Rex, thanks for your comment! I am in no way insinuating that people are perfect. We all make mistakes. The key is to learn from those mistakes. I have known people who use caustic words over and over and over again and don’t understand why they have so many problems with people in their lives. This is really the kind of person I’m referring to in this post. The one that never learns the lesson of how powerful their words are and how damaging they can be if used in the wrong way.
September 10, 2009 at 11:41 am
just be for I read this post, I watched a video that inspired me. Reminded me that people are great and that we all have God within us… hmmm. some people really don’t know the power within themselves.
That is sad. So much greatness should not be wasted.
Be blessed.
Arvell Lewis
September 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Hi Arvell! I agree that God is within all of us. Do you think that perhaps for some people the destructive words are a result of an internal struggle between themselves and God?
September 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I personally think people don’t recognize that God is within them. It’s a sad loss as we as people let our emotions control us too much.
I’m thankful that God has mercy.
September 10, 2009 at 12:01 pm
This is so true Tula. Most people have experienced being on the receiving end of caustic words at one time or another. One lady whom I used to know was so embittered by her personal life that she continually lashed out at many around her. It seemed that she felt that she had to “get them” before they had a chance to “get her”. From observation, she was a very lonely person.
September 10, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Hi Glenda! Thanks for your comment! I think the key to your story is that she did this continually, never seeing what she was doing to others. Clearly, her destructive words led to her loneliness.
September 10, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Unfortunately we as people sometimes say, and do stupid things that we don’t even realize the consequence of our actions or words.
I think the real word to use here is enlightenment.
When we are enlightened the words that come out of our mouths are much better than those people that use words as daggers and spears.
A great friend of mine, and I used to joke and say we were good at our jobs because “we talk pretty”.
One key thing to remember is that no one is perfect, and not everyone talks pretty. (lol)
We must ourselves be enlightened enough to know whether or not to have those people in our circle of influence.
You decide your circle of influence! How big, and how small. When the words coming out of your mouth don’t make sense to others, ask yourself how big your circle of influence actually is, and become enlightened yourself.
Try it today so you don’t use words that hurt others.
Remember we only have one planet and we all have to live on it. Give a brother or sister from another mother or father a hug and let them know you appreciate them.
The Blakester
Robert Blakely
Skype: The-Blakester
240-566-2474
http://RobertHBlakely.com
September 10, 2009 at 2:43 pm
I agree Robert! Nobody is perfect. I think perfection is a facade. We all can improve and become better people, no doubt. I think you hit the nail on the head… perhaps some people are merely more enlightened than others. Those that are not enlightened can not see ANY fault of their own and therefore are incapable of improvement… or for being sorry.
As far as a circle of influence, this can be a rather difficult choice especially if it’s someone you’ve known all your life or is blood-related. However, one still has a choice. Although it’s important to keep family peace, it’s also important to be true to yourself and choose who it is you allow to influence your thoughts and your life. If someone is consistently spewing caustic words, it may be time to cut the cord…. family or not.
September 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Hey Tula!
Great post! And to take that even a step further, and I’ve seen this happen, when we are angry or disagree with someone, some people won’t talk to the person directly. They’ll tell some one else of their argument or disagreement.
The problem with that is like you say, the story is told using the same caustic words. And from one person’s perspective. Then it gets back to the other person and that can have a devastating effect on the relationship. So by not talking it out with the person you’re angry with, even though you may want to continue the relationship, you may be seriously damaging that relationship.
A lot of it is human nature. But if we could just sit back and look at these confrontations as though we were outside the loop, and think about what we want to say, things could turn out in a much more positive way.
Thanks again Tula for sharing.
Bill
September 10, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Thanks for your comment, Bill! I think one of the most difficult things to do is remove your emotion from the situation and look at it objectively. Especially if you are the recipient of the caustic words. However, you are correct in that looking at things from the outside looking in would greatly improve the outcome of the situation. VERY difficult to do. I know I can have a challenge doing this as well.
September 12, 2009 at 8:38 am
Tula, it’s sad & very hurtful when someone lashes you with their tongue, without justification.
For your interest, I quote a couple of verses from the Bible… James chapter 3 says what a lot of trouble the tongue, a tiny little member of the body..can cause.
“3:7 For every kind of animal, bird, creeping thing, and thing in the sea, is tamed, and has been tamed by mankind. 3:8 But nobody can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 3:9 With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the image of God. 3:10 Out of the same mouth comes forth blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” Thinking of you Tula, love from Mary